I just finished watching the movie “Taken”. IMDB’s synopsis of the movie describes it thus:
A retired CIA agent travels across Europe and relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who was kidnapped on a trip to Paris to be sold into prostitution.
One of the most memorable quotes in this film is when Liam Neeson speaks to the captures and says:
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
At this point he goes and does what he does best. Fights his way through an army of thugs, dirty cops and rich villains to try and save his daughter.
I found myself thinking and feeling he is the man that every man wants to be. He stops at nothing to protect his family and anyone who comes between him and his family will suffer. He is singular in purpose, passionate about his family and never gives up. The biggest difference between Bryan (Liam Neeson) and most men I know is that Bryan spent years training as a CIA operative. He sacrificed his wife, marriage and family for his country. As the move starts his wife is married to another man and Bryan has almost no relationship with his daughter. He sacrificed his whole life to attain the skills that we watch and marvel at through out this film. While he was on his journey to save his daughter I wasn’t thinking about what attaining these skills cost him. I didn’t think, “Yeah, he might get his daughter back but, it cost him his whole life.” It cost him 12 years of his daughters life and his marriage to be able to step in and make the bad guys pay for 3 days.
Is it worth it?
In the moment of being able to accomplish this task I’m guessing yes it is worth it, but should we sacrifice our whole lives on the chance that one day we may have to step in and kick 50 bad guys asses and save our family? I find my self asking the question, how would it be different if he’d been more available and not lost his wife, marriage and relationship with his daughter? Would his daughter even have been put in that situation if he’d been around more, if he’d been there? What would it look like?
It is easy to see how Liam’s character is a hero and very easy to admire this character. We find it easy to see extraordinary men step up and be their best self in extraordinary circumstances and think wouldn’t it be awesome to be that guy. I’d like to put a quote in here, but I can’t find the source to quote so I’d like to paraphrase a quote I hear once and I don’t know where it comes from. ‘The degree to which we put another person on a pedestal is the degree to which we let our self not be extraordinary in our own way’.
Essentially, its easy to step up when our world is coming to an end, but we don’t put the same value on being extraordinary every day when our world is not in crisis. The most recent example of this I watched was BOATLIFT – An Untold Tale of 9/11 Resilience (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18lsxFcDrjo). In this documentary we see how half a million people were evacuated from lower Manhattan during 9/11. I thought well its easy to get organized when there is a clear objective and goal and the world is ending and nothing else matters. What about when our lives are going well, good, great, or awesome? Even the opening frame of the film is a quote, “A hero is a man who does what he can” – Romain Rolland. Note: the quote makes no mention of the circumstances around this action just that a man does what he can. Please know that I do find the Boatlift story inspiring and an amazing tail of human greatness, what I wonder is why don’t we do this when there isn’t a disaster to deal with.
Wouldn’t it be amazing to see a movie about a guy who day after day gives his best self to him self, his family, his friends and his community. A movie where a man does what he can to ensure that his world is taken care of. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a great husband who loves his wife and family. Nothing remarkable about him except that he is an essential part to his thriving community. Nothing god-like about this man except his great heart and spirit which he generously shares with anyone who needs it. While I find it awesome to admire a man who can do physically stunning feats and kick ass I believe that it is better to be a man within your self, a man within your family, a man within your community and a man within the world.
Imagine the movie of your life. You are on your death bed, your family and loved ones are gathered around you and smiling. Through a series of flashbacks we see you at various ages and periods of your life. In the present day where you are living your last moments each person smiles and thanks you, there are only tears of joy and gratitude. The people around honor you and tell you that your work is done, that you are the greatest man they have known. You are: “The Man we all want to be.” My question is what did you do in each of these flashbacks? Who were you and who are you that people gather to honor you and to thank you for your service?
To all of you men who are practicing this life being the man you want to be I honor you. Continue your work we need more like you.
To those that are called to step up at this point: Congratulations! Welcome it is good to have you with us.
To the women: For every man you know if he takes an action, makes a choice or any time he is the best man he can be, TELL HIM! Let him know how his choices and actions are the actions of a great man, let him know what it means to you to have someone like him in your life.
I look forward to 2012 – The Year of the man we want to be!
P.S – There is a movie about a man who day after day does his best to be his best. If you havn’t seen it yet is is popular around christmas and is called “Its A Wonderful Life”

