Well in the case of a deck or house or building. it is the base structure that you build upon. From Dictionary.com it is defined as:
the natural or prepared ground or base on which some structure rests.

In the case of personal development the foundation is comprised of your core beliefs and values. Everything we do is generally driven by these beliefs and values.

What makes a new foundation necessary?

In the case of my new deck the old foundation could not support the new structure I wanted to have in its place. The previous deck was 16 X 15, rotten and falling to pieces. The new deck was to be 20 X 30 and needed to hold a hot tub that would weigh up to 7000 lbs when full. A new foundation is required.

Recently on my journey I chose to move forward down my path and call in a larger way of being. By larger I’m referring to my becoming a coach and working on my certification over the next nine months as well as my next steps down the path of leadership. These amoung other changes have necessitated a new foundation of beliefs to ensure that they will support me on my journey.

Albert Einstein said,
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

What I am saying is we cannot grow or expand our experience of the world with the beliefs which have created our current experience of the world.  I don’t believe it is necessary to throw away every belief we have at this point, but an expansion provides the opportunity to find the beliefs which would cause it to fail.

What is hard about creating a new foundation?

Nothing has to be hard about creating a new foundation. The old foundation will naturally fall away where it needs to and make room for the new foundation that we bring forward.

Intellectually I believe what I the previous paragraph. My personal experience so far has not been that serene though. I really enjoy as much certainty as I can get and when things start changing and falling away, especially at the core level, I find it quite unsettling. Even when I know in my mind what is going on I find that I am challenged to let go of my attachments.

What I can say is the more I am able to move through the transition, without trying to force it or hold it back, the easier I have found the shift.

What about the old foundation?

As I said above. Not everything from the old foundation needs to go. I find its like a home reno project where we hang on to pieces we can reuse, perhaps in new ways to support the continuing journey.

There are parts though that will not provide further value in our development and it is these that I recognize the most.
When I have found a belief that limits me and I choose to let it go the biggest piece which makes the letting go so easy is seeing the gifts that living with that belief has brought to me.
The example from the deck story is how paralyzed I was when it came time to make the new foundation. As I spoke in lesson 1 I was unable to move the construction forward, my inner world was in turmoil. This is the part where my existing foundation was crumbling. I was having panic attacks and I felt trapped. (I didn’t need to have the panic attacks and freak outs – the is the place where I could focus on being more with present moment rather than resisting it.)

Anyway, I managed (with much support) to move through this part and the belief I came to was “I don’t deserve to be supported.” How could I possibly consider making a foundation to support the deck when I don’t believe that I deserve support.

So now I have the belief and I’ve decided that it no longer serves me. To make it easier to release this belief “I don’t deserve to be supported” I choose to see the gifts I have gained from living with it.

• Since I have to do it all on my own I have build up a great strength to carry me through so far
• I am able to create what I need and when I need it so my mental and creative skills are sharp
• I have great self reliance

Moving forward now I get to take these gifts and use them in conjunction with other people who do believe in me and who do support me.

The Big Piece

The biggest piece of this story didn’t come to me until over a year later. The initial title of this entry was “Creating a new foundation is sometimes necessary and can be scary as hell” The title changed from recent experiences where I was shown how much my attention I focus on the negative aspects my life.

It was during my first onsite of my coach training that I was reminded of the story of the two wolves.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

I could focus on how hard and painful that time was and say “…scary as hell…”, however I’m brought to the place now where I see how much harder this lesson could have been and choose to fee the wolf that I want to win and the next time I’m into a new foundation piece I choose to move through it easily.

Yes I do.

I’ve made many choices this year which have altered the course of my travels, and although my destination remains unchanged the path has. Starting this July I will begin a 10 month program on personal and executive coaching. While this is a new program for me it ends up being a continuation of the work I started 2 years ago, but moves out of being strictly facilitation and broadens the tool selection at my disposal. Also by the completion of this program I will be eligible to be certified by the International Coach Federation (http://www.coachfederation.org/)

I’m looking forward to the final leg in this journey and would like to begin this stage by thanking all of you who have supported me so far on my journey. It is through working with all of you that I have traveled this far and experienced so much. I could not ask for better traveling companions and from my heart thank you all.

So here is to the next stage of the journey, to all of you who have been there before, and to all of those who have yet to join me.

Salut!

This past year, for me,  has been a journey of learning and living and I find it hard to believe that a year has passed already.  As I look back over the past twelve months I am very aware of how much abundance I have in my life and I am truly grateful for all of it. Part of abundance is Gratitude, they go hand in hand,  and this is where I am starting 2010 from. 

I  thank you who have been to see me in my Facilitator-in-Training practicum and assisted me on my journey.  Your investment of time and money in me are truly appreciated as each of you have brought me lessons and learnings on this journey.  I feel that I have come so far, and I know that I would not be where I am if it weren’t for the support of people like you.

My Third Practicum comes to an end on the 11th of February and I am still looking for individuals and couples who are interested and willing to work with me and support me in my journey by coming to me for facilitation sessions. 

My rates are $20/hour for individual sessions and $30/hour for couples sessions. 

I’m also offering a 5 session package for the price of 4.  With this package you get 5 sessions to be used within 6 months for the cost of 4 sessions. This package is especially beneficial for those with a desire to make some real change in their lives very quickly.

I still have several more sessions available in this practicum. If you, or any one you know would like to join me in this journey please have them contact me.  My availability during the week is in the evenings and on the Weekends during the day (See my Facebook page or website for the times).

Again my heartfelt thanks for journeying with me so far and I wish you all a great 2010.

Jevon Hills – Facilitator in Training
Phone: 403-217-8468
Email: Jevon@thewarriorsvoice.com
FaceBook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Calgary-AB/Jevon-Hills-Personal-Development-Facilitator-in-Training/42602232911
Skype: jevon_at_thewarriorsvoice

Raised Consciousness: The Main point of 2009

My Facilitator training is going very well. I completed my first practicum successfully and since then have completed my second practicum and I’m working on my third practicum which ends at the start of February. I find that my focus on being a facilitator and the training is raising my consciousness. I engage in activities more mindful of what I am doing and what I am feeling. This consciousness is rather new for me and thus it pervades my activities for 2009

I have met some big challenges and I have engaged in them in a variety of ways. I built a deck (which I have been and will continue to blog about) that brought to me many challenges, I was an actor on stage for the first time and I took on a leadership position at Evoco (where I work) which brings with it many opportunities to engage consciously. I wouldn’t say I met all of my challenges brilliantly, in fact I’d say I failed brilliantly some of the time. Judgements aside, however, all of the experiences I have had where I was consciously engaged have been very beneficial to me.

It is these experiences that reminded me of the saying we used back in elementary gym class, “It doesn’t matter if you win or loose it’s just a game”. This was my mantra because I was never any good at sports, however the actual quote is from a poem:

“For when the One Great Scorer comes
To write against your name,
He marks — not that you won or lost -
But how you played the Game.”

(from the poem “Alumnus Football”)
        Grantland Rice (1880 – 1954)

This sums up my view of my past years journey. I am looking beyond the results of my challenges, to how I felt when I was engaged in the challenge and how I responded to the challenge.

In the past I would, and sometimes still do, react unconsciously to stimuli (kind of a Pavlov’s Dog). Now, as I practice becoming mindful about what I am experiencing, I am able to choose my actions, rather than just reacting, and by choosing I can produce different results. I don’t always engage my activities or challenges in a mindful manner, but I have made the commitment to reflect on what I have experienced and felt to see how I could have responded differently. My habit of reacting is a 37 year old habit, and that can make it rather a tough one to move, but I choose to practice bringing consciousness to my experience continually, even if it is after the fact. The more I practice mindfulness the closer it gets to being in the experience rather than after.

So what has changed that is bringing this raised Consciousness? Somewhere I began to realize that my experiences can provide valuable information for me. That through each experience, and how I acted in it, bring with them gifts. This required me to become mindful of my experiences, no matter how I would judge them, and see the gifts that they brought. Even the most painful experience brings with it the possibilities of an abundant life.

The Devil in the Details

I feel more and more like a leader. This is rather new for me, but it does feel right. I knew I was starting to feel like a leader when I claimed a promotion at work. I had been a developer (worker bee) at Evoco for 3 – 4 years and in that time I had several supervisors whom I reported to. When one of my supervisors was let go and his replacement decided after 5 months to resign it was announced that we were looking for another person externally to fill the position.

I wondered why we would look outside the company for this person. This would mean that I would spend 3 or so months training my new boss on their responsibilities. That seemed to be illogical so I approached my boss and submitted my candidacy for the position of ‘Maintenance Manager’. I was given the chance to prove my self and since February I have been working as the Manager of software maintenance. I am still somewhat stunned that I stepped up to this position as I never would have previously. This position gave me many opportunities to practice how I will be in a variety of situations and to practice being a leader.

A big portion of 2009 saw me doing things I have never done before. I took the concept of “Beginner’s Mind” and began playing in it. It [Beginner’s Mind] refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would. (Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoshin)

This year I built a new Deck. I find that even I am getting tired of me saying that now, but the experience was so Profound and Life changing that I will continue to review it. This project gave me practice and experiences that have truly hit home and that is why they get their own blog. What makes this project beginner mind is how I approached it in a more conscious fashion rather than just pushing through to get the job done and it is the first large scale construction I have ever done for my self and my family.

I also did my first stint as an actor by being in the chorus and playing Mr. Fogg in Sweeney Todd. I have been a musician for about 27 years now, but this was my first run as a singer rather than Tuba player. I have also been involved in many musicals as a music director, but this was my first time as an actor. The whole experience challenged me, but provided some insights into my patterns and behaviors one in particular around balancing my facilitator temperament with my music director temperament.

The Big Milestone

The big milestone for me came in December on my 13th Wedding Anniversary in the form of a recommitment ceremony. Tarra and I have been talking about doing one of these for several years, but there were too many blocks which prevented us from going through. This whole year of our marriage has been about our old foundation crumbling away, making room for and building our new foundation together. The basis of our new Story and what can we commit to now.

I am honored and humbled that Tarra would choose to marry me again and proud to call her my spouse, my partner and my wife.

Finally

I’m reminded of the Quote that I used to open my 2008 review.
        “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ” – Ferris Bueller

This past year has been me practicing just that. I took the time regularly to stop and look around at my Life. This alone is probably the most profoundly affecting practice I started in 2009 and will continue it going forward.

I wish you all a very happy new year and I will see you 2010.

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Books Read or Reading
- Attracting Perfect Customers: The Power of Strategic Synchronicity by Stacey Hall and Jan Brogniez
- Strength for Life by Shawn Phillips
- Reframe Your Blame: How to be Personally Accountable by Jay Fiset
- He Revised by Robert A. Johnson

Movies Watched
- Knowing
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
- Star Trek
- Up
- FanBoys
- In Search of the Holy Grail: Understanding the Masculine Psychology
- A Gathering of Men
(for those that know me, they know I’ve seen way more movies — on average I watch about 3 movies a week)

Podcasts
- The New Man
- The Mind of Men

In the world of personal development the concepts each practitioner talks about are very similar across the board. I would say the concepts are exactly the same, but it is how each practitioner speaks about these concepts which differs. So with everybody talking about the same things it is not surprising to find that there are certain words which appear in almost every practitioners vocabulary. One of these words is Accountable or Accountability.

Accountability is a concept with which I have struggled principally because no one I spoke to, or whose books I read, could ‘accurately’ define this term. One definition of Accountability I have seen used is ‘Stop blaming. Stop justifying. Stop complaining…Accept accountability’. When I read this I thought, “Is that it? Is that the fullest and most complete definition of Accountability?” Stop Blaming, Complaining and Justifying. Well, this definition does not work for me. I’m not saying that this definition is wrong, but I don’t find it to be accurate enough or complete enough. I need more.

My first concern is that this definition is at odds with the ‘Law of Attraction’. If you are unfamiliar with the Law of Attraction there are many books on the topic (I will review one of these at another time), however the basic Definition of the Law Attraction is that whatever you focus on is what you will get more of. So if one focuses on feeling contentment then you will get more contentment or if you focus on your financial abundance then you will attract more financial abundance into your life. The other piece of the Law of Attraction is that it doesn’t understand the words Don’t, Not, and No. With a phrase that starts with a negation you are actually focusing on that which you say you don’t want. If you don’t believe me then try this; “Don’t think about a BLUE house”. Now if you are honest I will guarantee that you just pictured in your mind a Blue House. It is important to understand this piece of the Law Of Attraction, because the definition that we are using is as follows : ‘Stop blaming. Stop justifying. Stop complaining…Accept accountability’. So we are actually focused on blaming, justifying and complaining. We are focused on all those things that which would lead us to non-accountability. So if we ignore all of the negative phrasing we are left with ‘Accept Accountability’ and we still don’t have a definition.

My second concern is around the ‘completeness’ of the definition. If you were to attend a weekend workshop this is about the size of the definition you get on Accountability. Short, Sweet and it assumes that you probably already know what accountability is anyway (which begs the question then why mention it at all since we are all on the same page). Many Personal Development practitioners only spend about 3 minutes out of 48 hours on this, and yet you are expected to be accountable.

My third concern with this definition is the results of it. You may, or may not be aware, but you will have a hard time making real, lasting changes in your life if you are not accountable. Accountability is a cornerstone in making the life you would want. So I want more on Accountability. I want to understand it and I want to know how to apply it in my daily life.

Jay Fiset did something that I feel needed to be done. Rather than just 8 words he spent 200 pages on really defining this term. This book thoroughly defines exactly what it is to be accountable and different levels of accountability. Thats right Accountability is not an On/Off switch, but a dimmer.

With many personal development books which I have read I found them to be didactic or instructional. The author will often speak about their point, use a story or anecdote to illustrate their point and re state the point. Having instructed you on the concept you are expected to now apply this your self. This approach can be very useful for getting through information, teaching it, and I have always benefited from these type of books.

Where Reframe Your Blame differs from many other books I have read is the ‘practical’ approach it takes. From the get-go this book brings its message to the individual reader by having the reader bring forward their own story or experience and writing them down in the book. It is a text/workbook. Fiset shares with the reader his own experiences as he asks you to share your own experiences and learn from them, and through working with your own life see how you could apply accountability to your experience and make the integration of a new practice easier.

From the liner notes on the back of the book Fiset puts it this way,

Every personal development book tells you that you can’t change your life until you become accountable, but none of them specifically tell you how. Instead they supply stirring axioms like ‘If its to be, Its up to me,’ ‘I create my own reality,’ and ‘Stop blaming and complaining.’ All these statements are true, but now you are going to learn HOW TO DO IT

I found this book to be an interesting read and personally challenging as I worked my way through it to learn more thoroughly what it is to be accountable and how I would apply accountability in my daily life. Well written, easy to understand and full of invaluable information. I would recommend it to any one who wants to know how to practice accountability in their own lives and position themselves to create the lives they would like.

Walk-in-Peace,
Warrior Jevon

What do I mean by, “I don’t listen to my own words?” I’m not speaking of a physical disconnection or inability to hear. I physically hear my words being vocalized when I speak. I ‘hear’ my thoughts in my head as I write. I see my words on the page or computer screen. I know I love to talk and tell stories and I enjoy being the center of attention from time to time. There are, however, many times I have had my own words come back to me in a light or circumstance that I hadn’t heard them in previously.

I’d like to share with you a couple of examples of how I don’t listen to what I say.

About a year ago I began looking into making short films. This is a medium which I love to watch, but have never bothered to communicate through. For my background I have a degree in Music Performance and I spend much of my time working in theatre either as a music director or soundscape designer. So I really wanted to expand my palette for artistic creativity. Almost instantly after I decided I wanted to make movies I came to the first hurdle. I had no story to tell. I could’t think of a single subject that I could make a story out of. I only needed a page or two of story to make a film (many of the scripts I have seen are 3 to 5 pages in length), but I couldn’t think of any thing to say.

About two weeks after ‘starting’ this endeavor I went on a Personal Development retreat where I spent 7 days looking into my self and getting accountable. One of the exercises we did was a guided meditation. It was through this meditation that I had one of the most incredible experiences and came to a profound realization about who I am. I wanted to share this experience with the group and so I told everyone the ‘story’ that I took part in during the meditation. It took about 5 minutes to get through all of the details of my experience and when I had finished a young lady turned to me and said, “You should make a little movie about that.”

I was absolutely shocked! I sat there stunned right to the very core of my being. I had that story and I didn’t even think to use it as the basis for a movie. It never entered my mind. I experienced the story in my imagination, I then told the story to a group and at no point did I think to make a production out of it.

I don’t consider what I say important enough to listen to.

Often I talk with others, tell stories, listen to their stories and often ask question or through intuition illuminate possibilities. I rarely listen to my own words though. This deck project has shown me that what I have to say is just as important for me to hear as it is for the people I am telling it to.. An example of this is illustrated in the following story.

I was speaking with a friend who indicated that he liked to help out others with whatever the other needed, but would never call on anyone to help him. He is more that willing to do for others, but not have others do for him. I asked, “What is this one-sided behavior was about? What is it about doing for others he ‘liked’?” He replied it made him feel good, useful, and a ream of other, similar, emotions. So I asked, “Are you aware then that by not allowing others to assist you that you are denying them the similar good feelings?”

I did not hear these words or how they applied to me when I spoke them, however I now recognize that without the help of others that I could not complete my deck. If I hadn’t asked for other people’s assistance I would have denied them the same feelings that I get when I assist another.

Why don’t you want our help?

So I hear you asking, “Jevon, why on earth would you not ask others for help?” In the answer to this there are several reasons I would not ask for assistance.
1) If I were to ask friends or neighbors for help that they would feel obligated to help me, but wouldn’t really want to help.

2) It would take longer as I would have to communicate to others what I want in a way that they would understand it.

3) I would have to lead the team.

As far as reason number 1 goes it never entered my mind that my friends, family and neighbors would/could enjoy my company and that they would want to be part of my project. I never thought that they would have fun building something that they could take pride in and when the come over for dinner say “I helped put that together”.

I don’t want to have to explain how to do something to another because that takes time and it would be faster to do it my self (As I wrote that line that no longer feels true for me, but that was once the truth of how I view asking for assistance). The crux of reason number 2 is that I would have to be an effective communicator to convey exactly what I want to another so that they understand and can produce it the way I want it. Ultimately it means I would have to ask for what I want and believe that I deserve to get what I want. If I don’t believe I deserve to get what I want or I don’t deserve the assistance to get what I want then asking for help is the last thing I would think to do or want to do.

Connected with number 2 is number 3. I would have to lead. Leading is a ‘risky’ place to be. It means being visible, accountable, vulnerable, exposed. However as the axiom goes, “Nothing Ventured…Nothing Gained.”
What are the results of me not willing to lead in this example? By avoiding leading I would have do the work my self. It would take longer and it would not have been done as well, however there are further consequences that would be incurred by me not leading and communicating. Many of the people I had help me have never built a deck before, where I have assisted on decks. It was that experience of assisting my father in building his deck that gave me the skills and confidence to build my own deck. If my father had not taken the time to explain to me and educate me then I would not be as effective as a home maintenance guy. By not leading and sharing my Vision, desire, skills and knowledge I would deny those who wanted to work with me the education, the experience and the opportunity to broaden their skill base.

If i did not lead a team on this project I would have also missed out on my learning from them and their expertise which they had to share. I would lose the opportunity to practice communicating and loose the opportunity to build community with my friends and neighbors. While it may feel like it takes a little longer to explain, educate and bring others along on my journey, without practice I will never be any good at it, however with practice, explaining and educating, will also become easier and take less time. I have a stone plaque which reminds me “Everything is hard before it becomes easy.”

What am I taking away from this?

From all of this experience (Talking to people, building the deck and the writing this article) I’m clearer on the opportunity at hand. The general jist of that being listening to what I say. It seems like I might have some value to offer myself with my own insights. I have stories that are worth sharing, and if the saying “Practice what you preach” holds any validity then I should start practicing a little more often.

However that is not all i’m leaving with. By working through the example of asking for help when I needed it I have more clarity about the what some of the potential losses would have been if I had not asked my friends for help. Also I have a sense of what I would not have in my life if I had not been asked for or allowed to help others. More over I got to spend a great deal of time with some of my friends and really get to know them. And, as a result of asking for help, I got the chance to practice my communication, my patients, and many other skills that are required if I am ever to lead.

Finally I would like to say thank you! Thank you to all of those who assisted me in constructing my new Deck. Those who gave their skills, efforts and time so that I could learn more of this lesson. I am forever grateful for the opportunity.

Walk in Peace,

Warrior Jevon: In-Service

My rates are $20/hour for individual sessions and $30/hour for couples sessions. 

I’m also offering a 5 session package for the price of 4.  With this package you get 5 sessions to be used within 6 months for the cost of 4 sessions. This package is especially beneficial for those with a desire to make some real change in their lives very quickly.

My third practicum wraps up at the end of January and I still require several more sessions to complete it. If you, or any one you know would like to join me in this journey please have them contact me.  

Jevon Hills – Facilitator in Training
Phone: 403-217-8468
Email: Jevon@thewarriorsvoice.com
FaceBook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Calgary-AB/Jevon-Hills-Personal-Development-Facilitator-in-Training/42602232911

I am now in my third practicum and seeking individuals and NOW COUPLES who are interested and willing to work with me.

My rates are $20/hour for individual sessions and $30/hour for couples.  I’m available many weekday evenings and weekends with times to suit your schedule.

I’m including the original introduction message I sent out so that, if you wish to pass my information on to anyone, it is available to be passed on.  If you, or someone you know who is interested, have any questions please give me a call or drop me a line.  I will be most happy to answer.

Jevon Hills – Facilitator in Training

Phone: 403-217-8468
Email: Jevon@thewarriorsvoice.com
FaceBook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Calgary-AB/Jevon-Hills-Personal-Development-Facilitator-in-Training/42602232911

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Original Message:

As you may know over the past few years I have been actively involved in my own personal development. Through this work I have noticed that my life has shifted dramatically in very positive ways.  My financial situation, for example, has gone from facing significant financial hardship only 3 years ago to being consumer debt free and having assets I would have never dreamed possible.  My marriage is stronger than it has ever been and I am more confident, healthier and enjoying my life.  I am finding that through this work I am experiencing my life in as far  deeper and richer than I have before.

I now feel called to go further with my personal development work.  I am in the process of taking facilitator training to learn how to effectively provide the guidance which has profoundly affected my life when I have received it.  As part of my training, there are several practical components I need to complete.  One of these components is working with individuals in one on one facilitation sessions.

I’m currently looking for individuals who would like to support me in my journey by coming to me for facilitation consultation. Through attentive listening, exploration, discussion, questioning and mutual discovery, we will create the opportunities to look at situations from a new perspective.

The Mind Set

The difference in how I am approaching this project from my previous efforts is partly my mind-set of how I am choosing to approach life.  In my day job I’m a software developer/manager of software maintenance.  I work with clients to create tools that will ease their burden and allow them to be more productive.  I mention this because one of my clients has chosen to ‘reframe’ the word issue to the word opportunity.  This client doesn’t have issues or problems that impede them or hold them back. They have opportunities to learn, grow and enlarge their experience of doing business. I’m following this client’s example choosing to reframe my perception of the speed bumps in a similar way.  If I run into an experience which does challenge me, I’m looking to choose my response to it rather than just reacting (as I normally would). The deck project is proving no end of opportunities to do just that.  Each time that a ‘challenge’ rises, it brings with it Opportunity.  The opportunity to look at:

what the task means to me, or is symbolic of, in my life

how I am approaching the task and re-evaluating my approach

how I feel at that moment and getting accountable with that feeling

Any one of these paths, if followed, will lead me to a belief that I have and provide the entry point which can lead to real change in my life.

Belief: The Mother of All Challenges

We all have beliefs.  Belief is as follows: A Thought + A Feeling + An experience (or picture) come together to create a belief. This belief is handed to the subconscious and we continue with our lives mostly unaware of the belief’s existence.  We live unaware of many, if not all, of the beliefs we carry with us and yet these beliefs can, and usually do, influence almost every decision we make and they tint or color how we view the world.  Some of these beliefs are supportive and assist us, and some of these beliefs limit us.  For your own reference think of an area in your life (i.e. money, relationship, career, health) that just works.  You don’t even think about this area it just happens.  In that area your beliefs are supporting you.  Now think about an area where you have to work at it almost continuously and you are challenged regularly.  In that area your beliefs do not support you and are limiting your life.

Time for an Analogy:

It might be easier to understand if I use one of my analogies. A Belief is like a bicycle. (Just go with me on this one) When I first learned to ride I started on a small bike that I could physically manage and that would allow me to learn how to balance and control my body and bike. This bike supported me as I learned to ride and through riding I gained wisdom and experience about cycling.

Then as I grew physically, as I grew more confident and gained skill the bike began to not support my riding. It was too small and my knees kept hitting the handle bars, I couldn’t go as fast as I wanted and it was hard to ride. This bike limited me from growing beyond my current experience. When I got a new bike to ride on it took a little adjustment, but ultimately allowed me to ride easier and more efficiently.

In many cases in my life, when I identify one of my own ‘limiting beliefs, I find that it once supported and was not limiting to me. Now through the experiences I have had with that belief and changes I have made in my life I wish to expand beyond my current experience, however this belief won’t allow me to grow beyond it (just like a little bike) and thus it is limiting my growth.

So what can we do with limiting beliefs?  First we have to identify them, and that means bringing the belief from the subconscious to our conscious mind. Once we are consciously aware of a belief we can then make a choice, a conscious choice, on what we would like to do with it.

The Challenge in Front of You is There for a Reason: Bringing it all Together

So I hear you asking, “Well if I’m not aware of these beliefs then how do I become aware of these beliefs?”

When we clearly set an intention for what we want in our lives, or how we want to be in our lives, we call forward (from our sub-conscious) anything that would prevent us from having that which we want. For example if I state “I will have greater financial wealth and that within 5 years I will have a 6 figure income” I have set an intention for how I want be in this world.  However, if I have a belief which would prevent that intention like “Money is the Root of all evil” then my beliefs are at odds with my Intention. This belief will have me subconsciously undermining every thing I would do to make my intention a reality. This undermining will show up in different ways, but almost all of them I would perceive consciously as a challenge or speed bump.

In this respect my Beliefs are the Mother of my challenges. Specifically any belief that would limit me from achieving what I would like to achieve will bring forward a challenge for me to face, and by facing each challenge I find the opportunity to learn and grow into a new understanding with a new supportive belief.

Enough Theory…What Am I Really Talking About?

One of the first speed bumps I experienced on this deck was (in my recollection) the largest of all.  It was during the task of digging out the holes where I would pour the footings for the foundation of the deck.

Firstly this deck was going to be ‘fairly large’ (nearly 20’ by 30’) and required 22 footings at 3.5’ feet deep and 8 inches in diameter.  You may be asking yourself, “Really?  That many footings?”  It is more than twice the number of footings required on a deck this size, but my deck was being constructed to hold a hot tub which weighs 7000 pounds when it’s full of water and people, so I designed the deck to support the load and thus 22 footings.

I had gotten about 3 of the holes dug the previous day, and was preparing to get going that morning, and I found I couldn’t step out of my house.  I was nearly paralyzed with fear.  I could move around my house, but I couldn’t step out into my back yard.  As I said above, some of my speed bumps crippled productivity.  I had no conscious knowledge of what was preventing me.  I knew I was ‘freaked out’ and fearful, and I could list a dozen reasons that might be causing this anxiety.  Reasons like if I get this wrong the whole project goes to pot.  If the project goes to pot then this is a waste of thousands of dollars.  However all of these reasons were thoughts and not feelings, and I was also looking to an external cause of my anxiety rather than internally for a belief.

It took talking with 4 different people to assist me in working through to the belief of “I don’t deserve to be supported.”  It is no coincidence that working on a foundation, which will provide support for the structure that is placed on it, is the task that stopped me and allowed me to see clearly the belief that “I don’t deserve to be supported.”  I invite you to ask yourself this question, “How does a person who believes that they do not deserve to be supported see the world?”  Essentially I could move around my old familiar ‘smaller’ world (my house) easily, but when I came to creating a larger space (larger area of influence) I was not able to move forward and thus the belief limited me.

Once I was conscious of this belief I could then make a choice as to what I want instead of the old belief.  I chose a new belief that would support me and my expansion into a larger world.

To Sum Up:

So the choice to build a deck, which required a larger foundation, brought forward the challenge/ speed bump, which in turn brought forward the opportunity to clearly see a belief that was limiting me – and the opportunity to choose a new belief.  This is what I mean when I say, “The Challenge in front of you is there for a reason.”  With this deck project, the choice I made to slow down and look at the challenges as opportunities has made this project one of the best personal development experiences of my life.  I know that these opportunities have been there all along in every other project I have done, but by muscling through those challenges I was not able to access the opportunities.

Walk in Peace,

Warrior Jevon: In-Service

Like an athlete preparing for the Olympics I spent 3 years designing and re-designing a new deck. I came up with ideas, threw ideas away and came to new ideas. I researched and planned for the construction of the deck, looked at building supplies and solutions, and did my very best to be as prepared as I could. I wanted to be ready to go when the opportunity came. Finally we came to the place where we could financially afford a new deck and my excitement rose. This summer was going to be the summer that I took on a large scale construction and showed my skills and what I was made of. I finalized my plans, shopped around for where I would buy my lumber and supplies and did the final prep for the main event.

Finally the beginning of the project arrived. The destruction of the old deck. I had many friends come over and help tear it apart and we all had a good time doing it. After a ‘lengthy’ day of shovels, sledge hammers and chainsaws we got it done! I had a huge open space in my yard and it was begging to be filled with a new Deck. Little did I know that this was just beginning and the road was about to get very rough.

At the start of this project I was full of excitement and wanted to get started on building stuff, but that quickly faded as I came face to face with some of the toughest challenges I have ever had. It was working through these ‘challenges’ or opportunities where I found the greatest rewards in creating a big deck. Here are eleven things that I learned through building a new deck.

1. The challenge that is in front of you is there for a reason
2. I should listen to what I say
3. Creating a new foundation is sometimes necessary and can be scary as hell
4. Having a Wellness Team is probably more of a necessity than it is a luxury
5. Learn how to ask for help and accept it in the form that it arrives in
6. Just because the results are not plainly visible does not mean that a lot of important work hasn’t been accomplished
7. If it’s no longer fun you should take a break
8. Think about the materials you are using/going to use when making measurements
9. Just because you can do it your self doesn’t mean you have to and just because you can hire someone else to do it doesn’t mean you should.
10. Are we humans or ugly bags of mostly water
11. A change is as good as a holiday…are you sure?

Over the next while I will be writing in detail about these items. I will talk about the experiences I had which brought these opportunities/challenges to light, how I felt about them when I was in it and where I am with them now.

Walk in Peace,

Warrior Jevon: In-Service