Changing Servers, Configuring Blogs and Big Game Hunting
Comments(0) Well, here I am, still in the ‘throws’ of switching The Warriorsvoice hosting from a DIY situation (or a do it myself situation) over to a hosted solution. I’m still working through some of the ‘stickier’ points of configuring PodPress, to get my podcasts back on-line, amoung other configurations and finding it very frustrating. While the hosting solution I have chosen seems to have many good points they don’t have very much (if any) help or guidance to offer.
In this struggle I got thinking about how much I want guidance here, how much I want someone or something to show me what I need to do to accomplish my desired task and that I could not complete my task without external guidance. I began to see how much I believe that I don’t know what I’m doing and that someone else will have to do it because I’m not capable. I then noticed that I’m always willing to go to the place of “I’m very smart. An intelligent human who can do so much, but I don’t know everything about everything and therefore need to research, learn, study a great deal to accomplish what I want, and since I need things done now someone else will have to show me”.
This belief has many of advantages for me some of which are,
- I can’t take the initiative because I don’t know what I’m doing and therefore won’t get it perfect.
- If i try and fail that will mean I’m not an intelligent human being, but rather a stubborn, pig headed man
This belief, “That If I don’t know everything about something then I should not attempt anything to do with something, at least not without supervision” is holding me back though. By not having the courage to attempt and learn from the attempt I don’t grow in the arena of something and remain stuck in the arena’s that I do know.
It is this belief that has helped keep me from experiencing joy, fund and excitement of Big Game hunting. As a teenager I wanted so desperately to go hunting. Due to my fathers health we were only able to accomplish this once when I was 16. I never hunted after that until this week. I wouldn’t go out, because I had no one to show me what to do, no one to instruct me, no one to guide me. I waited 21 years to ask my brother to take me out. My brother hunted with my father before I did and continued hunting as an adult. I asked him if he would take me out hunting so that we could take care of my fathers final wishes together.
So this past week I engaged in a big game hunt. I have been working towards this for months, getting my Firearms license, getting all of the gear i needed to go hunting, getting my game tags. I went with my brother and his eldest son. I had one of the best day’s I have ever experienced. No, I did not get anything, but I learned how to hunt and was learning in the company of men. I would like to do that again with them next year.
But I was asked, “Would I ever go out hunting alone?” I said No, because I don’t know what to do if I do get an animal. I don’t know how to prepare it, I don’t have the facility to bone it out so that I can butcher it, I don’t have the resources. I was relying on my brother for all of this knowledge. I feel that I could only go out with other hunters so I didn’t have to handle it on my own.
I wonder what would happen if I surrendered the control around getting the outcome perfect with every attempt, I surrendered the belief that, “If I do not get it perfect I am a failure” and allowed my self to feel the experience and accepted the learnings from the experiences.
In the arena of hunting then I could do some basic research and learning about how to ‘deal with an animal’ and not have to rely on others to do that for me and then I could go out my self if I wanted to. Hmmmm…..
Well thats where I’m at right now.
As far as the shift goes I’ve mostly moved over now, and have the links for those who which to subscribe for free and be updated on the fly as I post and Muse here.
to subscribe to the podcasts (and yes I will be casting agin) use http://thewarriorsvoice.com/blog/?feed=podcast
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Walk in Peace,
Jevon
