What is a Foundation?
Well in the case of a deck or house or building. it is the base structure that you build upon. From Dictionary.com it is defined as:
the natural or prepared ground or base on which some structure rests.In the case of personal development the foundation is comprised of your core beliefs and values. Everything we do is generally driven by these beliefs and values.
What makes a new foundation necessary?
In the case of my new deck the old foundation could not support the new structure I wanted to have in its place. The previous deck was 16 X 15, rotten and falling to pieces. The new deck was to be 20 X 30 and needed to hold a hot tub that would weigh up to 7000 lbs when full. A new foundation is required.
Recently on my journey I chose to move forward down my path and call in a larger way of being. By larger I’m referring to my becoming a coach and working on my certification over the next nine months as well as my next steps down the path of leadership. These amoung other changes have necessitated a new foundation of beliefs to ensure that they will support me on my journey.
Albert Einstein said,
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”What I am saying is we cannot grow or expand our experience of the world with the beliefs which have created our current experience of the world. I don’t believe it is necessary to throw away every belief we have at this point, but an expansion provides the opportunity to find the beliefs which would cause it to fail.
What is hard about creating a new foundation?
Nothing has to be hard about creating a new foundation. The old foundation will naturally fall away where it needs to and make room for the new foundation that we bring forward.
Intellectually I believe what I the previous paragraph. My personal experience so far has not been that serene though. I really enjoy as much certainty as I can get and when things start changing and falling away, especially at the core level, I find it quite unsettling. Even when I know in my mind what is going on I find that I am challenged to let go of my attachments.
What I can say is the more I am able to move through the transition, without trying to force it or hold it back, the easier I have found the shift.
What about the old foundation?
As I said above. Not everything from the old foundation needs to go. I find its like a home reno project where we hang on to pieces we can reuse, perhaps in new ways to support the continuing journey.
There are parts though that will not provide further value in our development and it is these that I recognize the most.
When I have found a belief that limits me and I choose to let it go the biggest piece which makes the letting go so easy is seeing the gifts that living with that belief has brought to me.
The example from the deck story is how paralyzed I was when it came time to make the new foundation. As I spoke in lesson 1 I was unable to move the construction forward, my inner world was in turmoil. This is the part where my existing foundation was crumbling. I was having panic attacks and I felt trapped. (I didn’t need to have the panic attacks and freak outs – the is the place where I could focus on being more with present moment rather than resisting it.)Anyway, I managed (with much support) to move through this part and the belief I came to was “I don’t deserve to be supported.” How could I possibly consider making a foundation to support the deck when I don’t believe that I deserve support.
So now I have the belief and I’ve decided that it no longer serves me. To make it easier to release this belief “I don’t deserve to be supported” I choose to see the gifts I have gained from living with it.
• Since I have to do it all on my own I have build up a great strength to carry me through so far
• I am able to create what I need and when I need it so my mental and creative skills are sharp
• I have great self relianceMoving forward now I get to take these gifts and use them in conjunction with other people who do believe in me and who do support me.
The Big Piece
The biggest piece of this story didn’t come to me until over a year later. The initial title of this entry was “Creating a new foundation is sometimes necessary and can be scary as hell” The title changed from recent experiences where I was shown how much my attention I focus on the negative aspects my life.
It was during my first onsite of my coach training that I was reminded of the story of the two wolves.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
I could focus on how hard and painful that time was and say “…scary as hell…”, however I’m brought to the place now where I see how much harder this lesson could have been and choose to fee the wolf that I want to win and the next time I’m into a new foundation piece I choose to move through it easily.
