Over the past couple of months I have been building a new deck. I spent the past 3 years designing and planning this deck and it is now finally becoming a reality. This is a really exciting for me, however, the deck is not coming to reality as I always envisioned it would. I don’t find it that shocking, that the construction of my deck is not happening exactly as I dreamed, after all, who sits and thinks, “When I set my posts in concrete it will take 10 hours to do because of the fussy nature of concrete, or because it’s going to take longer to get the cement mixer due to traffic that day.” I call these “Speed Bumps” as they reduce my working speed and appear to reduce productivity. These ‘speed bumps’ vary in size from the small where it takes an extra two minutes to find a viable solution, but they can also be quite large and cripple productivity. With previous projects which I have done around my house: building a shed, making shelves for the garage, making a lumber rack for the garage, installing a central vacuum, renovating the basement or renovating Tarra’s and my bedroom I have barely noticed these speed bumps, and if they have occurred I would usually just bear down and muscle through them and not pay them any mind. Throughout this Deck project I have faced many of these speed bumps, both big and not so big, I have questioned my abilities to execute the tasks at hand and I have questioned whether or not I’m qualified to be building a deck at all. At times this deck project has appeared damn near impossible to complete with any level of quality or craftsmanship, and there were times when I was paralyzed with fear and unable to do any work on the deck at all. The biggest difference between this project and all of my previous projects is that I am being more conscious about these speed bumps, and rather than just plowing through them I am taking the time to slow down and be curious about them. The new ‘conscious’ behavior is resulting in a far better/nicer end product than I have previously achieved, and is also producing a deck which I can be proud of.
The Mind Set
The difference in how I am approaching this project from my previous efforts is partly my mind-set of how I am choosing to approach life. In my day job I’m a software developer/manager of software maintenance. I work with clients to create tools that will ease their burden and allow them to be more productive. I mention this because one of my clients has chosen to ‘reframe’ the word issue to the word opportunity. This client doesn’t have issues or problems that impede them or hold them back. They have opportunities to learn, grow and enlarge their experience of doing business. I’m following this client’s example choosing to reframe my perception of the speed bumps in a similar way. If I run into an experience which does challenge me, I’m looking to choose my response to it rather than just reacting (as I normally would). The deck project is proving no end of opportunities to do just that. Each time that a ‘challenge’ rises, it brings with it Opportunity. The opportunity to look at:
what the task means to me, or is symbolic of, in my life
how I am approaching the task and re-evaluating my approach
how I feel at that moment and getting accountable with that feeling
Any one of these paths, if followed, will lead me to a belief that I have and provide the entry point which can lead to real change in my life.
Belief: The Mother of All Challenges
We all have beliefs. Belief is as follows: A Thought + A Feeling + An experience (or picture) come together to create a belief. This belief is handed to the subconscious and we continue with our lives mostly unaware of the belief’s existence. We live unaware of many, if not all, of the beliefs we carry with us and yet these beliefs can, and usually do, influence almost every decision we make and they tint or color how we view the world. Some of these beliefs are supportive and assist us, and some of these beliefs limit us. For your own reference think of an area in your life (i.e. money, relationship, career, health) that just works. You don’t even think about this area it just happens. In that area your beliefs are supporting you. Now think about an area where you have to work at it almost continuously and you are challenged regularly. In that area your beliefs do not support you and are limiting your life.
Time for an Analogy:
It might be easier to understand if I use one of my analogies. A Belief is like a bicycle. (Just go with me on this one) When I first learned to ride I started on a small bike that I could physically manage and that would allow me to learn how to balance and control my body and bike. This bike supported me as I learned to ride and through riding I gained wisdom and experience about cycling.
Then as I grew physically, as I grew more confident and gained skill the bike began to not support my riding. It was too small and my knees kept hitting the handle bars, I couldn’t go as fast as I wanted and it was hard to ride. This bike limited me from growing beyond my current experience. When I got a new bike to ride on it took a little adjustment, but ultimately allowed me to ride easier and more efficiently.
In many cases in my life, when I identify one of my own ‘limiting beliefs, I find that it once supported and was not limiting to me. Now through the experiences I have had with that belief and changes I have made in my life I wish to expand beyond my current experience, however this belief won’t allow me to grow beyond it (just like a little bike) and thus it is limiting my growth.
So what can we do with limiting beliefs? First we have to identify them, and that means bringing the belief from the subconscious to our conscious mind. Once we are consciously aware of a belief we can then make a choice, a conscious choice, on what we would like to do with it.
The Challenge in Front of You is There for a Reason: Bringing it all Together
So I hear you asking, “Well if I’m not aware of these beliefs then how do I become aware of these beliefs?”
When we clearly set an intention for what we want in our lives, or how we want to be in our lives, we call forward (from our sub-conscious) anything that would prevent us from having that which we want. For example if I state “I will have greater financial wealth and that within 5 years I will have a 6 figure income” I have set an intention for how I want be in this world. However, if I have a belief which would prevent that intention like “Money is the Root of all evil” then my beliefs are at odds with my Intention. This belief will have me subconsciously undermining every thing I would do to make my intention a reality. This undermining will show up in different ways, but almost all of them I would perceive consciously as a challenge or speed bump.
In this respect my Beliefs are the Mother of my challenges. Specifically any belief that would limit me from achieving what I would like to achieve will bring forward a challenge for me to face, and by facing each challenge I find the opportunity to learn and grow into a new understanding with a new supportive belief.
Enough Theory…What Am I Really Talking About?
One of the first speed bumps I experienced on this deck was (in my recollection) the largest of all. It was during the task of digging out the holes where I would pour the footings for the foundation of the deck.
Firstly this deck was going to be ‘fairly large’ (nearly 20’ by 30’) and required 22 footings at 3.5’ feet deep and 8 inches in diameter. You may be asking yourself, “Really? That many footings?” It is more than twice the number of footings required on a deck this size, but my deck was being constructed to hold a hot tub which weighs 7000 pounds when it’s full of water and people, so I designed the deck to support the load and thus 22 footings.
I had gotten about 3 of the holes dug the previous day, and was preparing to get going that morning, and I found I couldn’t step out of my house. I was nearly paralyzed with fear. I could move around my house, but I couldn’t step out into my back yard. As I said above, some of my speed bumps crippled productivity. I had no conscious knowledge of what was preventing me. I knew I was ‘freaked out’ and fearful, and I could list a dozen reasons that might be causing this anxiety. Reasons like if I get this wrong the whole project goes to pot. If the project goes to pot then this is a waste of thousands of dollars. However all of these reasons were thoughts and not feelings, and I was also looking to an external cause of my anxiety rather than internally for a belief.
It took talking with 4 different people to assist me in working through to the belief of “I don’t deserve to be supported.” It is no coincidence that working on a foundation, which will provide support for the structure that is placed on it, is the task that stopped me and allowed me to see clearly the belief that “I don’t deserve to be supported.” I invite you to ask yourself this question, “How does a person who believes that they do not deserve to be supported see the world?” Essentially I could move around my old familiar ‘smaller’ world (my house) easily, but when I came to creating a larger space (larger area of influence) I was not able to move forward and thus the belief limited me.
Once I was conscious of this belief I could then make a choice as to what I want instead of the old belief. I chose a new belief that would support me and my expansion into a larger world.
To Sum Up:
So the choice to build a deck, which required a larger foundation, brought forward the challenge/ speed bump, which in turn brought forward the opportunity to clearly see a belief that was limiting me – and the opportunity to choose a new belief. This is what I mean when I say, “The Challenge in front of you is there for a reason.” With this deck project, the choice I made to slow down and look at the challenges as opportunities has made this project one of the best personal development experiences of my life. I know that these opportunities have been there all along in every other project I have done, but by muscling through those challenges I was not able to access the opportunities.
Walk in Peace,
Warrior Jevon: In-Service
