Why do all of those men and women who decide to Climb Mt. Everest hire Sherpa Guides? Are these people that society regards as Heroes really that useless and weak that they need help to ascend the highest peak on our planet? Are we better than them that we feel we can go on our journeys without any assistance?
All of those we admire as outstanding examples of human beings will have at one point or another had some guidance to help them on their way. Our pro athletes have all had, and do have, their trainers and coaches. The stars of stage and screen all have directors guiding and coaching them to get their best performances.
So how am I or any of us better than those we admire? We’re not! As we walk our paths, bettering ourselves, dealing with aspects of our lives to improve them, working on our relationships, marriages, and the host of other things we know we need to work on; how can we expect to do well with out some help or guidance along the way?
Yet recently, while in a discussion regarding counseling and therapy, an argument for not getting help from a professional was; “I have to do the work my self and I don’t want to build a reliance on a professional to do it.”
My reply was, ” In therapy you do, do the work yourself. The therapist doesn’t do it for you.” I then continued on, “and you don’t build a dependence, they are there to guide you, provide a mirror, give you feed back and help guide you to the path, back to the path and along the path.” A therapist or counselor no more does your healing for you than a Sherpa guide carries a climber to the top of a mountain.
So in this issue I would like to list the qualities I look for in a guide. These qualities can change based on the specific nature of the journey. For instance if I wanted to be an Olympic downhill skier I would not go looking for a rowing coach. A rowing coach could be useful for some basic physical fitness techniques, but not around the specifics of the journey I’m on.
General Guidelines:
• I need to trust my guide: Trust is earned and therefore I usually need a few sessions to determine this trust level. This trust has to be in the areas of: Do they have my best interest at heart? Do they provide an accurate mirror back to me? Are they more interested in helping me or the time when our sessions end? Generally when I start work with a new guide I have a basic level of trust. Either I’ve spoken to them on the phone, emailed with them, or ‘interviewed’ them to make sure that I feel comfortable taking a few steps.
• Price: Now most guides need to charge for their time and rightly so however I need to weigh the ‘monetary cost’ of a guide against the cost to me if I don’t do the work. If you feel that you are in need of help, but finance is an issue there are options. When I first started my work I went to an agency which had a ‘sliding scale’ and based their fees on your income. For me at the time (about 10 years ago) the sessions were $6 per hour. There are many government sponsored agencies with similar setup. Counseling is always a possibility
• Models used for doing the work: Most guides have models that they use to help explain the work to guide you a long. Kind of like a Map. For me the Map has to make sense. If I can’t deeply understand the map and see how it applies and can be further applied then this is probably not the guide for me.
There are other guidelines, but these are some of the basics that I use when choosing a guide.
I also wanted to provide a list of counseling possibilities here in Calgary. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but a good start. If you are not near Calgary I’m sure any of these agencies could help point you to resources in your area.
• Calgary Counselling Centre – http://www.calgarycounselling.com/
• Calgary Family Services – http://www.calgaryfamilyservices.org/
• Distress Centre = http://www.distresscentre.ab.ca/ They provide assistance over the phone and counseling. The are also an excellent resource of other resources including “2-1-1″ the number designated for information and referral to all community, government, social and non-profit services in Canada.
and last but certainly not least
• MK Facilitations – http://www.mkfacilitations.com – a great resource for personal development and growth and one which I am proud to be apart of.
There are many other resources to help with any number of issues for anybody. Help and guidance are available.
If you have any questions or comments about this article please add them to the comments section at the bottom of this article or email me at:
jevon@thewarriorsvoice.com
Walk in Peace,
Warrior Jevon:In-Service
